Liar? Yes you are!
by minifox4444
Summary: Cas and Dean are in High School. Dean and Cas are dating and Cas feels neglected and unwanted by Dean. He thinks it until...he realizes the answer. Destiel somewhat. Self harm. Cheating. Douchebag Dean. Lisa. OC Kelly. Lots of other girls. Sad. Very sad. First real long Spn fanfic so no judge. At least not to hard.
1. Meet me Castiel Novak

My name is Castiel Novak. I am in my 3rd year of high school and it's….awesome. I have a boyfriend his name is Dean Winchester. Dean is a little taller than me with dirty blond hair, lean, emerald eyes, and popular. I have black raven hair, lean, and as dean would say, "Piercing blue eyes."

Dean is the head captain of the baseball team. He says we should keep our relationship a secret so nobody would bully me about it. I know the real reason though. I know he doesn't want **_his _**reputation ruined. This is the story of how I found that out…

Part 1. You wanna be with me?

It was late October which meant the Novak family, Gabriel, Anna, Lucifer, Michael, and myself had to hide **_all_** the candy from Gabriel. I swear when he was six Gabriel ate my, Anna's, and his candy and blamed it on Luci, and even though we all knew Luci wouldn't steel a six year old, a seven year old, and a eleven year old's candy we choose not to fight with him.

I love my family but sometimes their...chaotic.

"I knew it jokes on you luci!" I could hear Anna scolding Luci...again. "Well at least I can get ready in five minutes, fifty-five minutes less than it takes you to do your hair!" "Not true!"

"Yeah!"

"Not true!"

"Yeah!'

"Alright just shut up!" I hear my oldest brother Michael shout from the other room.

"Good morning my beautiful and loving family." I say.

They all looked at me as if I was crazy...

"Hello Dean," I greeted my boyfriend as we walked up to the school.

**Will Update Soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Cas!" He slung his arm around my shoulder. I felt the warmth of him and snuggled into him. He looked over and realized that two of the guys from the baseball team were looking, he dropped his arm. "Hey Cas you know what I'll catch up with you later." "but Dea-," Cas just mouth a goodbye to Dean as he walked away. Dean high fived the baseball players, glanced at Castiel and walked away.

It was physics and Dean came strolling in. He looked over and was happy to see Cas. He strutted over and sat next to Cas, "Hi Cas, sorry about this morning it's just the guys were needing to talk about something with the baseball team that's all." "Sure. Ok Dean." Cas got up and waked away. Dean was confused what did he do? Dean decided not to follow Cas thinking Cas probably just needed to be alone.

When class started Dean looked around to try and find Cas he saw him, in the front laughing with Balthazar.

Balthazar was a tall kid, he had dirty blond hair and was British. Dean was always jealous of Balthazar because he knew how to make Cas smile. Dean knew how to make Cas smile just not the supportive way Balthazar did, after all he was Cas' best friend.

The bell rang signaling lunch Dean ran after Cas and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey babe so I was wondering if you might want to come to my place after school." Cas shrugged and replied, "Maybe, But I don't know because my dad wants me home on time tonight." "oh...ok."

Cas started to walk away, but Dean had to know. "Cas," he ran after him, "What's wrong? You wont really talk to me anymore. Did I do something wrong? Are you hurt?"

Castiel looked down then looked at Dean, "Yes something is wrong, yes you did do something wrong, and yes I am hurt! You constantly leave me behind. I am hurt that you are so embarrassed that whenever your so called 'friends' come around you leave me! I am pretty sure that if I was seen in the same room with you and your baseball players you would pretend I'm a stranger. If you care about me Dean _**Start Acting Like It!**_"

Dean couldn't say a word so he just stared and finally said, "ok Cas," and walked to the cafeteria.

Did all he literally say was Ok? Dean Winchester, do you even _like _me?


	3. Chapter 3

Dean called me that night. I looked at my phone saw it was his name, I saw the picture of us that one time when we went to a fancy restaurant, our fist kiss. I remember how he looked, bright, handsome, and extremely happy. His faced has changed though, he now looks...how do you say normal. When we first went out he used to kiss me like he was in love, but that was 5 months ago. Now he treats me like I'm one of his "buddys" or "friends." I miss my Dean."

Anyways, I let it ring four times before I hit decline I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to know what he wanted to tell me, and honestly I didn't care. I got another call from him five minutes later and again I did the same thing only this time he left a voice message:

**_ "Cas hey I need to talk to you I know your at your phone. I want to talk about what you said today please. Look I'm sorry okay, your right. Is that what you need to hear well there you go your right. You were right about me being a dumbass you were right about me neglecting you-you were right about me not acting like I like you anymore . Please pick up the phone" End of new messages to delete this message press seven to save this message pre-_**I pushed seven and turned my phone off. I did want to talk to him I really did just what would I say.

I thought Dean might need a one-on-one conversation with me, so I decided that Sunday I would give him a surprised visit. I would bring him flowers and an "I'm sorry" card. I was so excited Sunday morning that I grabbed my phone and started so text Dean right away.

"good morning :)" He replied almost 5 minutes later.

"Good morning babe. Look I'm sorry about how I've been acting lately and I think that on Monday we should talk about it."

"No problem that's ok" I was kinda happy he wasn't all like 'lets talk about it today' I wanted to surprise him he might be happy to see I care.

So I decided to do it around 11am. I was driving to the his house happy I had just bought him a beautiful bouquet of roses. I was so excited I had been coming over to Dean's house so often that he decided to give me a key to his house. I drove up to his driveway. I walked up ready to see my boyfriend who probably just woke up. I opened the door to find my worst nightmare in front of my eyes.

"Dean..."


	4. Chapter 4

"Dean..."

I knew he was distant  
I knew he was acting strange  
I knew I was stupid for loving him  
I knew I was stupid for trusting him  
I knew I forgot he was Dean Winchester...

A brunette was in Dean's lap. She was straddling him as their lips kept connection. She grinded down on him and he was moaning and groaning her name. I felt tears well up in my eyes at the sight and they started trickling down my face. Dean was the first one of them to hear me as he looked up and pushed her off of him. "Castiel I-I," he couldn't even think of anything to say. I dropped the flowers that were in my hand and just stared. I couldn't move I couldn't do anything. The girl picked up soon as she picked up her purse and before she walked out the door she said, "I'm sorry I-I really didn't know." I looked down at her, "Get the fuck out of this house you slutty bitch!" I grinded my teeth as I said it. She and I both know I didn't mean it I was just devastated.

"Dean what the fuck?! Who is that? Why, just...why?" I was angry and confused and needed answers. "Cas I-I can explain. I was-she's. Looks the truth is, is that my friends look at me weird because I hang out with the homosexual nerd kid. I told them we had a special friendship and they told me they didn't know I was gay. I told them I wasn't and they told me to prove it and I told them I would have sex with Kelly Michaels, the girl from fourth. I told them I would take pictures. I knew it was wrong to cheat on you, but I couldn't deal with what they would do, say, the way they would bully if they found out we were dating. I am so sorry and I don't care about anyone but you."

"Look Dean if you r-really cared about me you wouldn't have done any of this." I wiped my tears with the back of my sleeves. "First of all, those 'friends' of yours are nothing but jerks on your baseball team that are nice to you just because you can pitch well. Second, thanks for calling me the homo nerd kid that makes me feel fucking fantastic. And lastly you might have had one too many baseballs thrown at your head because apparently you cant think to understand how stupid you sound. I hope you enjoy how they look at you now because they wont be looking at you with me. Goodbye Dean." I turned around and started to walk out of the front door.

"Wait Castiel I-I'm an idiot I know I'm sorry. I will do anything I-," he sighed heavily, "What will it take to make you stay." I turned my head to look at him, "Would you kiss me in front of your 'friends'." We both knew the answer. sadly we both knew.

"Cas I-is there a-anything I could do?" I could feel the tears streaming down his face. His voice was in a stutter and I almost felt bad. But remember Cas 'he did this all to himself.'

"I already answered that question Dean." I shut the door behind me leaving the roses on the floor. One of the pedals of the bouquet flew out behind me. I looked down on the floor and saw the pedal, I kneeled down so I could look at it better. I remembered the first time Dean and I went on our date. I remember the roses in the center of the table the smell of Italian food. I remember how he made me laughed, I remember how we kissed, how we had made love for the first time how he took my virginity.

I missed that Dean he was sweet and funny and he smiled at me. He looked at me with a glow in his eyes. I remember how on our fifth date I asked him what his favorite color was and he looked at me right in my eyes and he goes, blue.

When he asked me I thought about it for a moment until I looked back into his eyes. I gave him a glance and answered, green.

Oh Dean what happened to us. Did you really get board of me that easily? That fast?

I miss you. I miss us.

Oh Dean what have you done...

**so yeah the ending is kinda sketchy but I am really tired and sick. I haven't been getting a lot of reviews on this so I don't know if I should countinue. If I do get reviews though then I will have many many many many many manyyyyyyyyy ideas *laughs evilly* anyways thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5

**So the first part of this story is Dean just thinking back to who he really is. So don't be confused.**

I'm stupid, idiotic, and even a dick head. I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't mean to do what I did. It was like I was under some hypnotic spell that forced me to cheat, and that's what hurts most is that I can look at the mirror and in my eyes and say 'Yes you cheated on Castiel Novak you little man whore'

Dean The Dickhead

That's gonna be my new nickname, that's what I'm gonna force everyone to call me now. Well in my head at least.

* * *

"Wait C-Cas," It was to late he had shut the door on my face. I looked down and I saw the roses. There were six of them, all red with a beautiful emerald green tip. But then there was one, it was blue and bright like Cas' eyes. I saw there was a letter scattered on the ground I crouched down to the spot, grabed the note, and started to cry as I read it:

_Dear Dean,_

_ Well I thought that we have been growing "apart" lately. I got you flowers from my favorite flower shop, Harvell's Flowers, they have a very nice woman that works there. Anyways, I got roses with bright green stems to resemble you and your eyes :). I had the nice woman that works there, Helen, dye one of the white roses blue so when we aren't together you can remember me. Dean the main objective to this note is that I want to ask you if you like me still. Do we even get along anymore? Do we know each other? And most important are you embarrassed by me? Well I guess we will know on Monday!  
Sincerely,_

_ Castiel Novak_

I grabbed my knees and just sat and cried. I felt like crap I have just ruined the best relationship I have been in. Cas made me feel like I mattered, like I was special to someone. All those people on the baseball team can go fuck themselves. I can get kicked off the team for all I care I just really want Castiel back. He was one of the only people in my life that made me smile, laugh, and honestly I-I was taught how to love someone.

Maybe that's what I miss and want that feeling that your in love. When I looked into those blue eyes of his, the lust and feeling of love I felt was undesirable. I need Cas he is just my life. My love.

I love you Castiel...I'm sorry


	6. Chapter 6

"Gabe I don't know what I did wrong!" I cried into my younger brothers shoulder, "Am I fat, stupid, and ugly? That must be why! I'm just a stupid and useless and weird and-and he said it himself I'm j-just the h-homosexual nerd k-kid!" Gabriel just pet my back and shushed me.

If you don't know Gabriel is bisexual. He dated a girl for a while well...a lot of girls. Until he met this boy at a party and they went home together and they had sex and I remember Gabriel telling me how amazing it felt. I remember telling him that same day that I was gay it was just boys for me no girls. Gabriel accepted me for who I was and we both admitted who we were to each other and we sort of created a bond that day. Now we come talk to each other whenever we are having relationship problems.

"Cassie I love you and I know that he does to. Sometimes people, including Dean, have trouble admitting that they love people. Cas I think you should talk to him tell him that you thought you guys made a connection and-" "NO!" I interrupted Gabe I couldn't talk to Dean I couldn't go see him. Not after what I said or did. Not after what he said and did.

"I cant Gabriel I love him, but he obviously doesn't love me. And if he did he wouldn't have done that. He must've loved that stupid brunette Kelly or some shit." "Do you have class with Kelly?"

"Well yeah I do have fourth period with her. I have biology why?"

"Why don't you talk to her about, Hey, what did Dean say to you? What did he want?"

I thought about what Gabriel said and I felt like all the candy wasn't clouding his brain for a minute. "You know Gabe that's not a bad idea."

"Great do it on Monday, meet me at lunch and tell me how it went."

"Thanks Gabe." I now couldn't wait till Monday. I watched Gabriel get up and leave my room. At that moment my phone rang. I picked up and sounded cheerful.

_Hello _

_Hi Cas_

_Dean? What do you want. _

_I-I wanted to say that I'm sorry for what I said to you about-_

_Dean can you just shut your face. I don't give two craps about what you need to say ok my fucking god._

_Look Cas I know it was douchey of me to do what I did but I really, really, really do like you and-and I didn't know how to say or act. I'm just...I'm sorry Castiel."_

He used my full name so I know he meant it I just didn't-couldn't forgive him. I told him how when my parents divorced my mom remarried and how my step dad molested me. I told him how I tried to end it all, but then he came into my life and I couldn't. I remember how I told him that my dad shut me out of my life after telling him I was gay. I told Dean how my mother died in a car crash when I was 15. _Thanks Dean. I'm sorry to._

_For what are you sorry for?_

_For being stupid enough to forget that your cute, popular, and that your Dean Winchester. _I hung up the phone I didn't want to talk to him anymore.

I got a text from Bela minutes later.

**_Hello!_**

**_I, Bela, invite you, whoever this is, to my sweet 16 party. It will be a nice and fancy. The theme is ball since I love all Disney movies I love all of the balls they have and will try to make mine close to those. I would like to request that the ladies and gentlemen attending this party to wear something nice and pretty and fancy. I hope to see you there!  
-Bela-_**

Great a party.


	7. Chapter 7

**Nikki bold loved your review I deticate this chapter to you my dear. **

I was in the department store going threw all the random shit that was in the "cool kid" store. I was absolutely confused and sad. Everything reminded me of Dean. The flannels, jackets, even the so-workers that were blond reminded me of him. This was bullshit. I am done with Dean he broke me. Broke me heart. God when did I turn into such a girl.

I feel the woman at self checkout saw my struggle and walked over to help me. "Are you having trouble?" She looked to be in her late twenty or early thirties, she had short blond hair that curled at the bottom. She looked like a summer breeze. "Uh...Yes I was invited to a party and I have no idea what you guys, or kids, wear."

"It's ok hun I can help you. So what kind of party is it? Popular kids, nerd kids, brats?" She giggled at her last comment.

"Umm...Social?" I wasn't sure what kind of a party this was though. In fact I don't really even talk to Bella either.

"Ok honey, well all parties are social. What kind of person is throwing it?" She flipped her hair from off her shoulders.

"Popular British brat." I rolled my eyes thinking about how I always tried to avoid Bella and here I am going to one of her parties.

"I see well I would say you would like a nice button up. Preferably white or blue with a nice tie and..." She started zoning off with her words more like mumbling more than talking. Better yet mumbling to herself more than talking to me. I was lost in train of thought when I heard her voice shout. "AH HA I found something that would suite you perfectly. This is a white button up, then you can wear it with a blue tie and a nice pair of skinny jeans." I looked at the articles of clothing the woman had chose. She looked so happy and I got nothing better so why not. "Thank you I love it. I enjoyed your help..." I looked down at her name tag, "Nikki."

"Why thank you I hope you enjoy your party."

**Look this chapter was really short but I have a bad case of writers block *Sneezes* I want to write more and stay on top of it more. Thanks for the reviews keep them up. P.S. Private massage me if you have ideas.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Holy Crap 8 chapters well then. Thanks for the reviews. -FWI to Nikki Ross I just guessed I made up a character and wanted to name her after you-**

**Dean POV**

_I feel like crap...still. I feel like there's this hole in my heart that cant be filled and you know why, because that hole belonged to Cas and only he could fill it. Dammit why do I ruin every relationship I'm in. Especially when I love them why must I let them go? When you love somebody let them go, fuck that, when you love somebody you hold them close and even if I hate cuddling with ever being that is me I would do it for Cas. Cuddle his fucking face off if he wanted me to. And what did I give him up for so that I could prove some bullshit to my "Friends." Castiel was right those people weren't my friends they just hang out with me so they can get on my good side. _

My thoughts were interrupted and I heard a shatter from downstairs. _Great my amazing father is home._

I snuck down the stairs and peered around the steps to find my dad yelling and Sam with a beer bottle held high in his hand. Sam was protecting himself with his hands over his head and cradling into a ball. For a moment I was scared but then I realized, _Hey dipshit welcome to earth now go save your fucking brother._

"WHATS THIS I HEAR ABOUT YOU BEING BULLIED FOR HANGING OUT WITH A STUPID QUEER! YOU BETTER NOT BE FUCKING HIM BEHIND THE SCHOOL!"

"I-I'm not..." I heard Sam sob silently. I grabbed a glass candle holder from the side table and as my dad was about the pound my brother with the beer bottle I yelled at him. "HEY ASSHOLE!" He turned around complete anger in his eyes. "What the fuck do you want? And what the hell did you call me." He grabbed my arm and squeezed, he dropped the bottle and hit me across the face. I brought the candle from behind my back and hit him across the head. He started swerving before he let my arm go and fell to the floor; blood ran down the side of his face I checked his pulse to make sure he was alive and he was. Damn kinda wish he wasn't. But at the same time Sam and I need him. Sam. Shit.

I looked at my brother who was huddled on the ground crying. I ran over to him and hugged him in the tightest hug I could. He was so young and, even if he wont say it, fragile. He's broken and no kid should have to go threw this not me and especially not him. "Its ok Sammy your ok. We're ok." His breathing steadied and I lead him up the stairs and told him to pack for about a weeks worth of stuff. He said ok and ran to his room to get packing. I looked at my phone and scrolled threw the contacts:

Sam  
Jo  
Cas  
Dad  
Hellen  
Ash  
Jake  
Coach  
Gabriel  
Bobby

I clicked on the one that said bobby and sent him a quick text. One word that's code between me and him.

**Dad. **I got a text about a minute later

**Beds are already made.**

I sighed in relief at least there was one adult in my life I could trust.

**This was a more showing that Dean doesn't have the best life either and how Cas was his support. So R R thanks for Reading hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next chapter should be updated by tomorrow.**


	9. Chapter 9 Author note

**This is just a little update on the story and reviews and Etc.:**

**Firstly, Ok so school has just started back up so I can only update on the weekends. We just had spring break and I went to Disneyland!**

**Secondly, I have had writers block but think I know where I want this story to go. And I am also working, but have already updated the first chapter, of a story about Lisa and Dean together but Lisa gets jelly of Cas. **

**Last and thirdly, I would like to thank all of you who reviewed, read, favorite, or followed. I love all of you who do that and who keep up with the story and review all the time *Cough* Nikki Ross *Cough.* Man I must have the flu :D**

**Anyways see you in the next chapter. Love You All!**

**-MF4444**


	10. Chapter 9 the real 9

**thank**** you to all those who have supported and been so kind to me. Thanks for the reviews and for the favorites and just for reading. Love you all! Enjoy Chapter 9**

**Dean POV**

I started the engine and began on the road. I looked over at Sam who was still shaking, he has had Dad yell at him before but John never threatened Sam. I honestly feel bad for Sam, even though he tells me he doesn't I know that he get bullied at school. When he comes home the bulling doesn't stop, frankly Sammy has been keeping my mind off of Cas. I have been worrying about him...a lot. I hear him having nightmares at night, hear him screaming, crying, sobbing. I am tired of hearing him scream though and I want to help him but he wont open up to me. I can't tell him about my problems he doesn't need to deal with my shit. Sam broke the silence though with a quiestion I didn't want to answer. "How's Cas?"

"Oh..uh-uh Cas is um he's ok I guess."

"What happened Dean?"

"It's nothing Sammy don't worry about it."

"Sure Dean I believe you." Sam said in a mock of "jk I don't"

"I-I screwed up. Ok?" Dean's voice cracked as tears welled in his eyes. "Dean?" "I fucked up because I'm a stupid self centered jack ass who couldn't deal with the crap my friends would have given me if they knew I was fucking bi! So fuck me Sam because I shoe a little fucking sadness because I lost someone I was-no wait still am, in fucking love with!"

Sam just stared at his brother completely and uderly confused. "You lost one of your friends?" Sam was asking in a more asking tone than statement tone. Then it clicked. "Holy shit you broke up with Cas because you were scared of what the team would think if they knew you were with him."

Dean just nodded his head. He didn't need Sam to know the full truth. About him cheating the yelling. Sam didn't need to know all that crap. For right now Sam knew this:

-no more deastiel or whatever he called it

-more friends for Dean Winchester

This list was sadly not good enough. He wanted Sam to know that he is a lying prick and should die in hell. But instead we will leav it at this,"Dean that's pretty douchey if you love Cas you shouldn't have just broke up because of some dumb jocks."

"Oh Sam you don't know half of it."

Dean felt his phone vibrate and he check it to see what it was. "Dean what is it?"

"It's a stupid invitation to Bela's party." "You should go." Sam said positively. "Really? Well I guess I could. Wouldn't hurt to get out a little...I guess."

The one thing Dean wanted was to make sure Cas wasn't going to be there.

**Well chapter nine. Your welcome my stars. **

**P.s. This was updated threw my iPad so that's why the fonts might be weird or might not be we will never know. Dun dun DUNNNNNNNN**

**R&amp;R**


	11. Chapter 10

**So here we go chapter 10 wow didn't think I would make it this far but thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**Castiel's POV**

Why Monday why did you have to come now?! Alright I can see Kelly sitting over there in her pink dress with her little shoes on her brown hair flowing. I was about to go give it to her. Tell her she's a fucking slut who should die in a hole. Then I saw it the sight that changed everything. The sight that made me flinch and feel horrible for her. Two blond girls ran over to her "Slut!" Yelled one of them as she flipped one of Kelly's books on the ground. The other one chuckled and walked away. I realized Kelly was having a worst time than me with this whole situation. I lost the man I love which is horrible. Kelly lost her whole life because she believed that Dean actually liked her. Why Dean the dickhead...

I walked over to her but not to scold to comfort her. "K-Kelly?" She had tears in her eyes as her head short up as she looked at me. "C-Castiel I'm I'm so sorry D-Dean never told me anything and-" "Kelly" I said in almost a whisper. "I forgive you."

**this is a sample of chapter 10 the real shit will come soon**


	12. Chapter 10 continues:

**The rest: **

I patted Kelly's back while she cried at lunchtime. I felt bad for her wait I felt bad for _us. _She was just as hurt as I was. Ok maybe I hurt a lot more but, she was still hurt. She told how her friends called her a slut and they left her except her best friend, Lisa.

Lisa dated Dean in the first year of highschool and she broke it off with him at the end of the year. He told her he she wasn't interesting anymore. And Lisa just broke it off and left, Kelly thinks she liked his half brother Adam but she would never tell Lisa that.

"Hey Kelly!" Lisa greeted as she came over. I was always jealous of Lisa because no matter how good I was to Dean he still never stopped liking her. She looked over at me,"And Castiel?" Kelly noticed the confusion so she wiped her eyes and explained "Deans latest ex."

Lisa lost her shit...

"OH MY GOD DEAN IS GAY AND _YOUR _THE PERSON HE CHEATED ON. HOLY SHIT HE HAS BEEN SAYING HE WAS DATING THIS CHICK FROM ANOTHER SCHOOL. THAT SON OF A BITCH I WOULD NEVER BE AFRAID TO LIKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU IF I WAS A GUY! YOUR HOT AND-AND."

I think she just ran out of things to say.

"I know Lisa. Lisa really hates him." Kelly explained to me. I nodded my head and realized how rude I was being. I held out my hand, "I'm Castiel, Castiel Novak." She took my hand and pulled me in for a hug, "How bad did that douche bag hurt you."

All the sudden I felt like crying. So I did, I sobbed into her shoulder, "A fucking lot Lisa, a fucking lot..."

Thank god we were where nobody could see us.

"Don't worry Cas, we will ruin him."

I similed at this.

**AN: yay the rest of chapter 10. Should I continue? Please comment! Love y'all **


	13. Chapter 11

**Never thought I would do this many chapters but, glad I did. I will do about 3 or so more chapters before making a sequel story. It won't end, to soon. Here's chapter 11.**

P.S if you are one of those people who don't read the authors note please read it the one at the beginning and end. They say important things.

I didn't revise how many girls Dean had dated until I well, saw them...all of them. I came over to Lisa's house on Wednesday and we talked about how to make ruin Dean for ruining our reputations. She gave me a list of girls that Dean had dated so we could get information from them:

_Cassie _

_Bela_

_Jo_

_Meg masters_

_lisa_

_anna _

_teresa_

_Tessa_

_Eve_

_lilith_

"Holy shit that's a lot of girls." Lisa burst out laughing, "Well Cas, I didn't even include all the one night stands." We both started laughing. I like Lisa. I honestly thought she was just another whore. But she's cool, so is Kelly I feel ad for her. Kelley came into the room, "Sorry guys I am late, I was...um busy." I looked anther curiously, "With what?"

Kelly just frowned,"Stuff. I mean I would tell you guys but, you two would be pissed." I cocked my head to the side as a sign of confusion,"We are understanding people. Right Lisa?" Lisa nodded her head and added,"You can tell us anything Kelly." Kelly smiled and looked at us,"You sure you want to know?" I just looked at her and said in a joking tone, "Damnit Kelly tell us~"

"Well if you guys really want to know then I just-"

**Hope you enjoyed chapter 11**.


	14. Chapter 12

**VERY SAD CHAPTER! **

I lay on my bed as I cried. The pain my heart felt. The guilt. The feeling of knowing I loved one that didn't love me. Dean. I remember her saying it, "_If you guys must know I just got asked to be his date to bela's party." _I remember running out of Lisa's house. The tears running down my cheeks. Lisa screaming my name for me to come back.

I couldn't though. How could I. I loved Dean, and then he cheated, and now after Kelly and I become friends so he takes her to a party. It hurts, all of it, most of it. I was teaching myself not to cry because he wasn't worth my tears, but now it seems he is.

I always thought it was silly, that we imagined a future when to be fully honest he couldn't even show he loved me in public. Sex toy, attention, whatever the fuck he wanted from me, wasn't love. I was used. And I guess that's what hurts. When I turned my back and I wasn't his shoulder to cry on he found another. Figures. Nothing goes right anyways.

I felt pounding on my door, "CASTIEL GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE! NOW!" I didn't want to go. My dad was probably drunk and was going to hurt me. I was tired of being hurt. Tired of it all. I just want to go back to a time I felt something good. And...maybe I could.

I looked into the bathroom, I got up and walked into it. I stared at my face in the mirror. That sad pathetic look, how harsh. I looked down, my pocket knife I got four years ago. I clicked it up and examined the shiny blade. I looked at the tip how shape it looked, it gave me chills up my spine. 1...for my dad hurting me, 2...for Kelly cmaking me mistrust her, 3...for Dean, I brought down the blade and cut a horizontal line across my wrist. It broke the skin and blood began to flow into the sink. I felt like crying but had no more tears, felt like laughing but my voice was gone. Energy sparks flew up feet to brain. I lifted the knife and made a second cut. I felt something. I felt _something_. And for once it wasn't grief, sorrow, saddness, it was happy I could feel. I could feel so,etching good. I could. Sensations, desire, tears of happiness flowed from my face.

I felt weary by the time I had made the fourteenth cut. I swayed and looked at my reflection, it looked good. Like the Castiel I loved. I love myself again. I felt myself sway once more before my legs gave out the blood poured into the sink, slowly started to leak outside of it, I hit my head on the side of the sink falling to the ground. My pocket knife slipped and stabbed me in my shoulder, but I didn't care I could feel it at least. I heard footsteps, my name come from my brother Gabriel. I heard him scream and run to me. He touched my wounds and I could feel the sting. I could feel it. That's all the matters,

right?

**This was very sad yes and tbh I don't think this will end well...just saying**.


	15. Chapter 13

**so the last chapter was something right? Yeah I know...**

**i need my motivation to keep going and I just wanted to say thank you to all those people that stayed this long, and enjoyed the story so far, people that have followed through and everything.**

**I would like to make sure I didn't affend anyone with my last chapter, just wanted a little twist. **

**Sorry if I did. Hope I didn't!**

**-mf4444**

**p.s. Keep reviewing!**


	16. Chapter 14

**So**** now it's summer im expecting to be updating a lot more now. Yayayay! I am so excited to be doing more with this story. **

**2\. The idea for this chapter goes to,** BestUsernameEver54321, **they PM me when I was having writers block. So big thanks to them. Enjoy this** chapter.** This will be shown threw deans perspective. **

I didn't think I would cause it. I didn't wamt to believe I did. I mean it was a harmless act. My friends told me to ask Kelly out to Bela's party and I did. I didn't think Cas and I where still together so I didn't think he would care. But, I should've known better shouldn't have listened to them, because now I'm standing in the middle of a hospital, waiting to be let in to see him. If I could I would take it all back. I'd give my life for his. But that isn't hoe it works...is it?

Break line. (Get it because it's literally a line).sorry not a good time? FWI reviews help me! Enjoy

"alright Hun he's ready please come in!" God I wish she could've walked...i don't know, faster than the speed of a freaking tortious. I needed to see him, know if last time _was_ the last time. I don't want it tone I-

He sits, hooked to a machine. He looks scared and helpless. Bandages wrapped around his wrist, blood stains you can see threw. He turned his head and looked at me, his eyes glossy now full of tears.

"Thank you Frankie now please, give us a moment." His voice. God how I would've hated to die without hearing that voice one more time.

Frankie shut the door and it begins "Hey Cas."

"Hello man whore. Oops sorry was that to harsh? Did that hurt your feelings? I hope it did, but it's nothing compared to the amount of pain you put me threw for the past week."

"Castiel I'm sorry I know what I did was wrong, it's just..." I wanted to say the right thing but I had to think fast and now. Why don't I stop lying and just say the truth. "When I first cheated with Kelly I lied about my friends betting me. The truth is that I was scared because," my voice cracked from the tears in my throat, "I was scared I-fuck! Why is it hard all the time? Why is it so hard to tell you I was scared to be with you because I-I loved you! I love you Castiel and I didn't know how to handle something I didn't know. So I became distant and ended up getting with Kelly. And because I know you I knew you would come to surprise so I did it. That's the truth and I'm tired of lying to someone I love."

"I don't even know what to fucking say. Lie, cheat, and lie again?! Like what is up with you. It feels that the only person you care about is yourself. I'm right, right?"

"Your not gonna listen to me Castiel so I'm just going to give you your time, text me when your ready to have me visit you again. Oh and FWI I was trying to apologize I know I don't do it often , but when I do, I expect people to listen to my apology." Drab walked out of Cas' room and closed the door.

Cas was left there to think. Oh how it hurt to think.

**I want you guys to tell me what you think! Like who do you think was right Cas or Dean? Please leave a review. Thanks!**


	17. Chapter 15

**Sorry for long wait!**

He's cute but I would never tell him. He, and his long hair and hazel eyes. I'd never tell my brother but his fight with Dean was the best thing ever!

Because there fighting now I get to talk to Sam Winchester. He says how it's highschool love and they will get over it.

After Cassie attempted suicide, Sam came over to confort me and...it worked. He makes me happy. Not in a friendly way. *wink* I wanted to tell him about Kelly and Lisa but, as I thought Dean didn't tell him anything. Why would he? Sam is judge mental and he know that Sam would've just told him off.

"Gabriel I'm so sorry about Cas."

"It's ok-well not really he's my brother and I couldn't be there to help him as much as I could've. Now he will always have scars. Now I know that no matter what, whenever I looked at his arms I would be reminded that I couldn't help him, stop him from doing that to himself." I looked down as a tear fell from my cheek. "God how I would've stopped him."

"Gabriel it's not your fault. It's my stupid brother for hurting Castiel. Now I don't know what he did but I know that he hurt him...bad. And it has effect of you now. And that's going way to far when it hurts you."

I looked up and chuckled a little,"Aw Sammy it sounds like you care."

"I do."

Sam reached down and touched my face letting his thumb stroke my cheek. "I care so much Gabe." He leaned down and let his lips slide over mine.

It took me a second but the moment I knew what was happening I kissed back. I loved it, it was everything I thought it would be...and more! His lips where soft and perfect and he tasted like honey and Carmel and everything perfect. He pushed me back, my back pressing against the arm of the chair.

We broke the kiss and I looked into his perfect hazel eyes. "I care to, Sam." He smiled and kissed me again.

I let of a breathless laugh and countinued the most epic and amazing make out session of my life.


	18. I'm back baby!

**I bet some of you might be wondering, hmmmm? Where the hell did this story go. Tbh I got into the soul eater fandom for a while but now I'm back baby and I'm ready to write and finish this puppy. So sorry for the wait I will start working immediately! **


End file.
